Surrendering
Chapter
20
Grams
and Landon were walking towards Devon’s study. As they entered,
Landon saw Sarah in Devon’s arms in the middle of the room possibly
kissing. He immediately spun Grams around back in the direction they
had just come from.
“Landon
did you just see what I think I just saw?” Grams asked him as she
stopped in the center of the hallway.
“If
it was Devon and Sarah in a passionate embrace with their lips on
each other, than no.” Landon looked to her and said, “We should
give them a moment.”
“Sarah’s
back was to us, so I did not actually see their lips touch. Did you?”
Grams asked him.
“Odds
are if they hadn’t, they were just about to.” Landon said as he
guided her forward down the hallway.
Grams
and Landon headed to the drawing room to wait. She took a seat on the
sofa and began to eat her sweets. She slowly bit into a mini muffin
as she starred off at nothing in particular. Her mind was on Devon
and Sarah.
Landon
stood looking out the window. He was hoping Devon had come to his
senses concerning his feelings towards Sarah.
Devon
and Sarah entered the room together a moment later.
“Why
did the two of you leave?” Sarah asked.
“I
craved a snack my dear,” Grams said.
Both
Landon’s and Gram’s gazes were on Devon as he stood next to Sarah
in the doorway. Devon reached up adjusting his collar as it had
suddenly grew tight. He did not like the way the two of them were
glaring at him.
Devon
walked over to the bar. Landon after a moment followed Devon. He saw
Landon coming over and pulled out another glass for him.
Landon
came to Devon’s side and whispered, “What the hell are you
doing?” Landon did not intend it but his voice had a hint of
concern.
Devon
kept his eyes on the glasses he was filling. He calmly said, “What
are you referring to?”
Landon
leaned in closer over Devon’s shoulder. His whisper was a little
harsher this time. “Please tell me you intend to ask for her hand
in marriage Devon.”
Devon
moved his gaze to Landon’s and held it there for only a moment.
Devon looked away to the glasses again. He then grabbed a bottle of
wine from under the bar.
Landon
understood what Devon’s eyes had just told him. “I do not even
know who you are any more. The man I know to be Devon Price would
never have considered doing what you have done to her. What are you
thinking Devon?”
Landon
ran his hand threw his hair and let out a long sigh. He turned back
over Devon’s shoulder and said, “Why don’t you admit to
yourself you love this woman because it seems you are the only one in
the room who cannot see that fact.”
Devon
was working on opening the new bottle of wine for Sarah. He paused
for a moment, he then continued working on the cork in the bottle.
Landon
was growing angry with Devon’s cold demeanor. “Benjamin is
turning in his grave for what you are doing to his daughter. She
loves you and you are using that for your own amusement with her.”
Devon
slammed the bottle of wine he was holding on the bar top and shouted,
“I do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else.”
Sarah
and Grams immediately whipped their heads around to Devon.
Devon
pushed past Landon and stormed out of the room. Landon stood behind
the bar still starring at the doorway. A moment later, everyone heard
the front door slam shut with great force.
Grams
turned her gaze to Landon. Her mouth was open with shock from Devon’s
behavior. She had never seen him so angry, it worried her. “What
happened?”
“Landon,
is Dev alright? Should we go to find him?” Sarah asked.
Grams
took Sarah’s hand. Sarah held Grams hand tight. Both the women were
waiting for Landon to say something, anything to fill them in on what
had just happened.
“He
is a fool! That man is pig headed and stubborn. He is his own worst
enemy. Damn it!” Landon was frustrated and angry.
Landon
please explain to us what has happened between you two.” Sarah said
her voice growing with worry.
It
is not what has happened between Devon and me. It is what has been
taking place between Devon and you, Sarah.” Landon came out from
behind the bar and walked towards her.
Grams
said to her, “We saw you and Devon in the study as he was kissing
you.”
“He
did not kiss me,” Sarah said.
Grams
squeezed her hand. “You do not need to defend him Sarah. He knows
what he is doing to you is wrong.”
Landon
sat down next to her. “Sarah, he is denying to himself what he
clearly feels for you. Devon does not intend to ask for your hand in
marriage.” Landon tried to tell her the truth as gently as he
could.
Sarah
gazed down at her lap. She was fidgeting with a ribbon on her dress.
Sarah could feel her bottom lip begin to quiver. “He did not kiss
me. I stopped him. Well he had asked me to walk away from him and I
did, but then he pulled me to him and asked me not to go. He stopped
himself from kissing me” Sarah felt the sting of tears in her eyes.
“I know he does not care for me the way I care for him. I wanted
him to kiss me anyway.”
“Oh
Sarah, love is difficult at times,” Grams said to her.
“Why
is it Sarah you think he struggles with himself when he is around
you?” Landon asked her.
Sarah
began to blush as she said, “He has not been with a woman since his
return.” She whispered it as if she were telling a deep dark secret
to someone.
Landon
and Grams looked at one another with amusement.
Grams
said to her, “Sarah he loves you. That is why he cannot think
clearly around you. If Devon wanted to he could have been with a
woman since his return, but it is you he wants, that is why he has
not. Oh sweat child do you not see it?”
Landon
smiled at her and said, “She is telling you the truth Sarah.”
“Did
he tell you as much,” Sarah asked him.
“No
but I know Devon very well and I believe that he is in love with
you.” Landon answered her.
“He
has not confided in either one of you as to his feeling for me. I
will believe it to be true if Devon tells me from his own lips.”
Sarah could taste the salt on her lips from her tears. “Will you
please excuse me? She stood and left to go to bedchamber.
Grams
began to tear up herself. Landon handed her a handkerchief. As grams
wiped her tears away she said, “What are we to do Landon?”
Devon
pushed Rear to run faster than he was. He wanted to hurt someone or
punch something. He wanted to never go back. That was what he really
wanted. Landon had no right to pry into my
dealings with Sarah. What does Landon know any ways. Why does
everyone insist on telling me what I feel? I know what my own
feelings are and they do not include marriage or falling in love.
He
rode for hours passing two towns on the way. Devon finally stopped at
a small town miles away from home. He took a room above a tavern and
booked it for only the night.
Devon
took a seat in a corner set back from the small crowd of men in the
pub. A young barmaid came up and asked him what he would like. She
smiled flirtatiously at him. Devon ordered a bottle of scotch,
ignoring her advances towards him. He was not in the mood for
company.
He
began to think about how he saw Sarah’s face every time he had
tried to kiss MaryAnn. He told himself it was his concern over
Sarah’s situation that had cause it. He just need to do what
Benjamin had asked him to get her out of his head and out of his
home.
Who
did Landon think was to judge him? He does not have to stay under the
same roof with Sarah tempting him. Landon has no clue how torturous
it can be with her around all the time. Landon would not be able to
resist her smile or the way her head tilts to the side, when she is
thinking hard about something. He has seen the way she bits in her
bottom lip and looks up gazing at you with her big hazel green eyes,
so he should understand.
Devon
threw back his second shot, feeling it burn as it slid down his
throat. He ran through his mind what Landon had said to him. They had
never had words before in that manner. Landon had always been his
closest friend and honestly more like a brother. It hurt him to know
Landon saw him as a rake. The very thing Devon despised. How could he
have let things get so out of hand with Sarah? Landon was right. He
is not the man he once knew. Devon didn’t even know who he was any
longer.
Back
at the estate. Sarah laid on her bed crying. She wanted so much to
believe what Grams and Landon believed to be true. If
it were true then Devon would have told me himself.
Sarah
began to cry harder into her pillow. She had been holding these
feelings inside for so long and know that she was allowing them to
the surface, they would not stop hurting her. She felt as though
someone had died. How could she morn for something that was never
truly real. It was merely her own hopes for his love that she longed
for.
She
hugged the pillow tighter against her chest and face. Sarah wanted
her father. She wanted him to draw her up into his arms and tell her
everything will be all right. She wanted to hear his voice again,
just one more time. To have another chance to hug him and smell his
scent of books and tobacco pipe that had always lingered on him.
Richards
stood outside Sarah’s door. He could hear her deep gasping cries.
Richards raised his hand to the door then he stopped dropping his
hand back down to his side.
Grams
came up the stairs and saw Richards standing outside Sarah’s door.
“Richards,” she whispered.
He
turned to her and said, “What is going on tonight in this bloody
house? Why is she crying?”
Grams
explained the story with a few short cuts to get to the point and
brought him up to the current moment.
“I
am going in there.” He lifted his hand to knock on Sarah’s door.
Grams
grabbed his arm and said, “She wants to be alone. The poor girl is
a mess.”
“That
is why we must check on her Darleen.” Richards raised his voice.
The
two of them froze as they heard Sarah’s cries grow louder.
Richards
turned to Grams and said, “I stood outside your door in the same
manner, do you not recall. You needed someone then as Sarah does now.
What if I had left you alone and walked away, honoring your privacy
Darleen?”
Grams
studied his face for a moment then said, “Knock on the door
Richards.”
Two
men sat with Devon at his table in the corner. He does not know why
or how they had come to sit with him but they were. Devon had ordered
a good meal for the table and shared his bottle of scotch with them.
The
two men seemed to Devon to be an odd pair to be friends, seeing that
they were complete opposites. The calm easygoing man was John
O’Brien. The other man Bob was very loud and seemed angry, but also
a man of very little words.
“So
what brings you here to drink alone?” John asked Devon.
“It
is a woman. It is always damn women!” Bob answered for Devon.
Devon
chuckled. “Well yes it is a woman but not in the sense you think it
is”
“Women
don’t make no sense. They just make problems is all they do,” Bob
said.
Devon
put his hand up to his chin and studied the angry man.
“Ah.”
John said as he waved his hand at Bob. “Pay him no attention lad.
He is still angry for his wife up and leaven him.”
“I
am sorry to hear that.” Devon said.
“You
think he’d be over it by now, she left twenty years ago.” John
said and started to chuckle.
“Yours
left you too.” Bob said to John.
“Bob
you damn well she did not.” John turned to Devon and said, “Me
wife died a few months after given birth to me daughter. She caught a
fever and died. It was a long time ago.”
“You
did not remarry?” Devon asked him.
John
smiled and shook his head no. “I wanted to but could not bring me
self to. I loved her a wee bit too much and I looked to no other
woman the way me did her. Oh, she was a beautiful woman. My daughter
looks just like her.”
“What
do you do for work John?” Devon asked him as he saw the spotted
burns on his hands.
“I
am a black smith and handyman I guessen you’d call it. My daughter
Brook and I get by. She works at a library a few towns over in
Clairfield.”
“I
know that library. I live not far from town. Sarah Mcmay is a friend
of mine who works there as well,” Devon said.
“Ah
I know Sarah. She is such a sweet little lady. She always sends Brook
home with sweets for me. It is sad about her situation.” John shook
his head at the thought of Sarah. His gaze then rose to Devon. John
sat up in his chair and said, “You are not friends with that
Collins fella are ya?”
“No
I was Benjamin Mcmay’s business partner and friend. Sarah is
staying with my family at Price estates. What do you know of this man
Collins?”
“Well
I tell ya this, if he had done to me Brook what the little bastard
had done to Sarah, I would have tied him up to the back of a horse
and sent him running threw a garden of rocks I tell ya. A man has no
business putting him hands were they aren’t wanted. After Brook had
told me what had been done to Sarah, I told her Sarah should stay
with us if she saw fit to. Brook was going to tell her the next day
but she hasn’t seen or heard from Sarah since. She is worried of it
too.
“Please
tell Brook she is safe with my family and she may visit any time she
would like to,” Devon said.
“Thank
ya very much, I will.”
The
barmaid brought over their food. Devon went to go eat and John
grabbed his hand.
“Lad,
when ya eat with me, ya gives thanks first.”
Devon
raised his brows at the little Irish man and said, “My apologizes
John.”
