Monday's Escape Into Romance Is..."Surrendering"

Surrendering

Chapter 21

  

   Sarah had not heard the knock at the door with her face buried into her pillow.

   “Oh you poor dear.” Grams said as she walked to Sarah’s bedside with her arms out to her. “Come here Sarah.” Grams wrapped her arms around Sarah and held her tight.

   “Is there anything I can fetch for you?” Richards said softly.

   Sarah shook her head no, as she wiped her tears away. She looked a mess with her hair falling out from the pins that had secured it and her eyes were red and swollen. She brushed back her hair off her face as she looked to Grams.

   Grams took Sarah’s face in her hands and looked to Sarah with such pity. Sarah’s face began to frown in Gram’s hands and then crumbled as tears streamed down from Sarah’s eyes and over Gram’s fingers. She pulled Sarah to her chest and Sarah let her cries begin again.

   She rubbed Sarah’s back and gazed at Richards. “Perhaps some tea may help.”

   Richards put his hand on Grams shoulder, gave it a little squeeze and nodded. “Where shall you like me to bring it Darleen?”

   “I will tidy her up and we will have it in the drawing room Fredrick, thank you my love.”

   “Very well then.” Richards then left to fetch some tea for the two women, quietly closing the door as he exited the room.

   Grams lifted Sarah away from her and said, “Shall we clean you up a bit and take some tea. We have all night to talk my dear. Come on let’s get you to the dressing table and I will fix your hair.”

   Gazing at herself in the mirror as she sat at the dressing table, Sarah did not recognize the young woman who was staring back at her. All she saw was a sad weak woman who has a dark lonely future in front of her.

   Who could love that kind of woman? Having no dowry to offer any suitor. Growing up without a proper education, only the experience of the travels with a father. Left without any connection to family and remains still removed from society. A woman who was left alone and penniless. What could I possibly have to offer anyone? Nothing is what I have and nothing is all I will ever have.

   Grams watched Sarah in the mirror. Her heart was breaking for her as she could see Sarah’s sad eyes. Sarah’s gaze into her own reflection was hollow. Grams remembered feeling that way with the loss of her husband and then tragically, with her son. The loneliness that covers you like a blanket, wrapping you tight as if trying to smother what little life is left in you out. She recalls what a threatening place that can be.

   “There we are my dear.” Grams said as she finished placing the last pin in Sarah’s hair. “You are so handsome Sarah. I never had a daughter or a niece of my own to do hair for my dear. I do hope you like it?” Grams smiled at Sarah’s refection.

   Sarah gazed down at a few pins that lay on top of the dressing table in front of her. That last thing she felt was pretty. She did not want to look at that woman in the mirror any more. Sarah does not know her and does not care too.

   As she stood up from the dressing table, she thanked Grams and walked towards the door. Her body felt heavy and sluggish. She felt numb.

   Grams came up beside her and looped her arm through Sarah’s arm. Together the two women proceeded to the drawing room for some hot tea.

   Devon watched as Bob made his way from the table to a bar stool at the end of the bar. Bob’s walk was anything but straight and steady. Devon was amused at Bob’s repeated attempts to set himself on top of the stool.

   “Poor Bob, if he had spent less time here and more at home, his wife wouldn’t have left him. He had always liked the drink a wee bit too much though,” John said.

   John turned towards Bob upon hearing a loud crash. Devon went to stand to offer aid to the man. Bob had finally made it on top of the bar stool and then fell over sideways as he passed out.

   “Aah Bob.” John said. He stood up and went to his friend lying on the floor. “Come on their Bob, time to go home. Let’s get ya up and will put ya to bed.” John helped Bob to his feet. Bob’s arm was hanging over John’s shoulder.

   Devon came up next to Bob, and took his other arm and put it about his shoulder. “How far does he live?”

   “Oh on the outskirts of town in the country, but we’ll bring him to me house for the night.” John said with labored breath from the weight of Bob on him.

   “How far do you live John?” Devon asked as he was trying to turn himself and Bob sideways to get through the door of the tavern to the street.

   “Ah on the out skirts of town, a wee bit in the country but closer.”

   Devon started to chuckle. “Closer you say?” He shook his head back and forth with amusement at John’s humor. “Alright then, which direction are we to go?”

   “To the right and down the road a bit.” John replied.

   John and Devon made their way down the road with Bob. It was a struggle for Devon to hold Bob, he was quite a bit taller than John was, and to add to that Bob was not walking. Bob’s feet were dragging behind him.

   After about fifteen minutes of walking, Devon threw Bob over his shoulder.

   “It is right around the corner up ahead.”

   Devon was thankful being that Bob was a heavyset man with a very round belly that did not balance well upon his shoulder.

   John opened his front door and Devon stumbled inside with Bob. John pointed to a room off the kitchen for Devon to place him. Devon bounced off the narrow doorway of the room hitting Bob’s head on the frame. Devon hurled Bob’s body on to the bed, nearly falling on top of him as his body lunged forward.

   Devon pointed to Bob’s head and with labored breath and said, “He may feel that in the morning.”

   John laughed at that. “Oh believe me lad. He has been in far worse shape. A little knock on the noggin won’t do much to him.”

   Devon smiled at him, placing his hands on his hips while trying to catch his breath.

   “Come on Devon. Let us see if we can find us a drink.” John patted him on the back.

   Devon sat down in a chair at John’s kitchen table. His breathing was still labored. It was a long walk from town with an encompassing man about his shoulder.

   “Ah Brook me girl,” John said as he looked past Devon’s shoulder behind him.

   Devon stood up and turned to greet the woman. He bowed to her and said, “Nice to meet your acquaintance Lady Brook. My name is Lord Devon Price.”

   Devon was surprised at how beautiful she was. Brook has big gray-blue eyes and long wavy deep red hair. Both features were stunning against her pale milky white skin.

   Brook curtsied to Devon and smiled. “How do you do Lord Price?”

   “Devon is a friend of Sarah’s,” John said as he sat back down.

   Brook moved quickly to Devon but still maintaining a respectable distance. “You have not seen Sarah recently have you?” Brook’s expression filled with worry for her friend.

   “Sarah is currently a guest at my estate with my family. I assure you she is sound.” Devon said to Brook with a reassuring tone in his voice.

   Brook smiled at him, looking relieved upon hearing the good news.

   Back at the estate Grams and Sarah had settled down for tea in the drawing room. Sarah was staring out the widow. She had not really taken her tea yet. Richards had Molly make a variety of quick sweets for Sarah but mostly for Grams.

   Sarah sat in the club chair next to the warm fire. She began to wonder if it would be best to go back to Lady Wilcox’s to stay for a while. It was not right that Devon was to leave every night because of her. Sarah felt she had caused this family enough problems.

   “A sweet treat for your thoughts my dear,” Grams said as she held out a sugar cookie in her hand.

   Sarah shook her head and said, “No thank you.” She then turned her gaze back out the window. “I think it would be best if I return to Lady Wilcox for a visit.”

   “Sarah I don’t want you to leave. I enjoy your company immensely my dear, you are as family to me Sarah.” Grams scooted closer to Sarah off the chair across from her. “Everything will work its self out.” Grams patted Sarah’s hand. “You will soon see.” She tried to smile at her.

   “I would feel more comfortable to be honest with you Grams. I am sorry.”

   Grams face fell. “Will you not still come to visit with me?”

   Sarah smiled weakly at her, “Of course I will. I do not think I would be able to stay away from you even if forced too.” Sarah took Grams hand in hers. “You are family to me as well Grams. My only family now.”

   “I will take you to Lady Wilcox’s myself, if you do not mind?” Grams then sat back and took a mini muffin off the silver platter from the side table next to her.

   Her gaze fell back upon the window once more as Richards entered the room and asked Grams for a private word with her. Sarah had not wondered why. Her mind was on Devon and the horrible night’s events.

   Brook and Devon began talking at the small kitchen table. She filled Devon in on what she knew of Sarah’s situation. It took Devon some time to convince her all the information was to help Sarah. Brook is a very loyal friend. She did not want to spread gossip or embarrass Sarah in any way with anything she was to tell him and Devon respected that.

   Given the late hour, Brook had offered for Devon to take the remaining spare room to sleep in for the night. Devon had agreed and Brook retired to bed. Devon remained in the kitchen sitting at an old small wooden table in front of the fire.

   Devon gazed into the flames as they shifted and moved wildly from the wind picking up outside. He suddenly felt exhausted. It had been a long day and an even longer night. He began to drift off into sleep at the table.

   Devon saw Sarah standing in the middle of a field, just beyond the forest. She was wearing a white wedding gown that blew around her in the wind. Her hair was down and whipped in every direction in the gusts. She was staring at him as he rode towards her on a black stallion. Devon could see her bright green eyes glisten in the moon light as he approached her.

   As he came up beside her on the horse, she turned from him and began to walk away. Devon dismounted and called to her. Sarah did not answer, she only gazed back and smiled. Devon followed her as she walked further into the field towards the other line of trees across from where they were.

   He slowly walked behind her a few yards back. He was confused. Where was she going? Why would she not answer him?

   Sarah drew closer to the tree line and gazed back at him again. She was breath taking in the wedding dress he though. Devon suddenly panicked at the thought of whom she was going to marry. Who had asked for her hand?

   He called to her again through the strong hollowing of the wind. Sarah turned away and entered into the forest, disappearing in front of his very eyes. Devon for some reason did not want to go in after her. He stood in the spot where she had left him, staring into black emptiness.

   Sarah called his name as she appeared in the line of trees in front of him. Devon asked where she was going. Sarah answered wherever her heart takes her. Devon asked her where that would be. Sarah walked toward him and told him to you.

   Devon was shaking in his dream. She was asking him to love her. Sarah with a tear in her eye turned from him and began to run away.

   He did not want her to leave. He was also scared to follow her. He watched her run away into the darkness. There was a frightful pain building up in his chest. Devon drew his hand up and placed it over his heart. He could feel it thumping rapidly. Sarah was gone and he screamed for her. It was a dreadful scream filled with desperation and regret.

   Sarah did not answer and never reappeared. Devon fell to his knees and let out everything he had been holding in for her, for Benjamin, his father and grandfather. He needed her. He wanted her and now he was too late, she was gone.

   “Devon, Devon wake up.”

   Devon awoke as Brook was gently shaking him in the chair. He looked up and saw Brook’s expression.

   “Are you alright Devon? You were screaming for Sarah.”

   Devon felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. Brook handed him a dry cloth for his face. Devon wiped his face and shook his head.

   Brook had poured him some water and handed it to him. Devon took it and sipped it.

   “You are sweating. What were you dreaming about?” Brook went to the pail of water and submerged the cloth in it. She then handed it to him and sat down. “You sounded as if you were in a great deal of pain.” Brook then poured herself a small drink of water.

   “I’m not sure. I was in a field and Sarah was there with me and I-” He stopped as it came rushing back to him. “I am not sure what it was about.

   “My goodness Devon, you are turning pale. You are as white as a ghost is. Come with me and I will help you to bed.”

   Brook did not wait for his response as she took his arm and nudged him to his feet. She led him to the spare room and pulled back the covers for him. His hands were shaking and he felt dizzy. Devon began to sway towards Brook.

   She stood up straight after turning down the bed and turned to face him. All she saw was his pale face falling into her. Brook jumped off to the side as she let out a little yelp.

   “Devon are you alright?” Brook asked.

   He did not answer her. He was face down on the bed and sweating. Brook rolled his body over and began removing his coat. She then moved onto his boots. Brook stopped as she took off everything other than his breeches. She went to the kitchen and grabbed the cloth and water pail. Brook wiped him down and took his clothes to wash them.

   As she left the room, she began to giggle to herself. Her bedchamber was right off the kitchen and she heard everything Devon was talking about in his sleep. She had not woken him until he had started to scream for Sarah. Brook heard enough of his dream to figure out he was heartbroken over Sarah. Whatever the dream was about, it had upset him enough to cause him to faint. Brook laughed again and thought who ever heard of a man fainting over loving a woman.

   Sarah had gone up to bed hours ago and was still lying awake, staring out the window. The blue curtains from the window were gently blowing in and out of the window. She felt her tears begin to fall again. They began to form a wet spot on her pillow. Sarah wiped her tears and turned the pillow over.

   She had decided to leave late morning after breakfast. She most likely would not eat but, if Grams was to escorting her, she could not deny Grams her appetite. Perhaps she would begin to feel better once she arrived at Lady Wilcox’s home. She did love spending time with her. Sarah felt for her as if she were an aunt. Lady Wilcox always made her feel welcome and at home.

   Sarah watch the sun start to rise as the sky turned all shades of pink and purple. She loved those two colors. The birds were chirping their morning greetings to the world and Sarah let a small smile out.

   Sarah whispered aloud, “Devon Price I deserve better.”

Monday's Escape Into Romance Is..."Surrendering"

Surrendering

Chapter 20

  

   Grams and Landon were walking towards Devon’s study. As they entered, Landon saw Sarah in Devon’s arms in the middle of the room possibly kissing. He immediately spun Grams around back in the direction they had just come from.

   “Landon did you just see what I think I just saw?” Grams asked him as she stopped in the center of the hallway.

   “If it was Devon and Sarah in a passionate embrace with their lips on each other, than no.” Landon looked to her and said, “We should give them a moment.”

   “Sarah’s back was to us, so I did not actually see their lips touch. Did you?” Grams asked him.

   “Odds are if they hadn’t, they were just about to.” Landon said as he guided her forward down the hallway.

   Grams and Landon headed to the drawing room to wait. She took a seat on the sofa and began to eat her sweets. She slowly bit into a mini muffin as she starred off at nothing in particular. Her mind was on Devon and Sarah.

   Landon stood looking out the window. He was hoping Devon had come to his senses concerning his feelings towards Sarah.

   Devon and Sarah entered the room together a moment later.

   “Why did the two of you leave?” Sarah asked.

   “I craved a snack my dear,” Grams said.

   Both Landon’s and Gram’s gazes were on Devon as he stood next to Sarah in the doorway. Devon reached up adjusting his collar as it had suddenly grew tight. He did not like the way the two of them were glaring at him.

   Devon walked over to the bar. Landon after a moment followed Devon. He saw Landon coming over and pulled out another glass for him.

   Landon came to Devon’s side and whispered, “What the hell are you doing?” Landon did not intend it but his voice had a hint of concern.

   Devon kept his eyes on the glasses he was filling. He calmly said, “What are you referring to?”

   Landon leaned in closer over Devon’s shoulder. His whisper was a little harsher this time. “Please tell me you intend to ask for her hand in marriage Devon.”

   Devon moved his gaze to Landon’s and held it there for only a moment. Devon looked away to the glasses again. He then grabbed a bottle of wine from under the bar.

   Landon understood what Devon’s eyes had just told him. “I do not even know who you are any more. The man I know to be Devon Price would never have considered doing what you have done to her. What are you thinking Devon?”

   Landon ran his hand threw his hair and let out a long sigh. He turned back over Devon’s shoulder and said, “Why don’t you admit to yourself you love this woman because it seems you are the only one in the room who cannot see that fact.”

   Devon was working on opening the new bottle of wine for Sarah. He paused for a moment, he then continued working on the cork in the bottle.

   Landon was growing angry with Devon’s cold demeanor. “Benjamin is turning in his grave for what you are doing to his daughter. She loves you and you are using that for your own amusement with her.”

   Devon slammed the bottle of wine he was holding on the bar top and shouted, “I do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else.”

   Sarah and Grams immediately whipped their heads around to Devon.

   Devon pushed past Landon and stormed out of the room. Landon stood behind the bar still starring at the doorway. A moment later, everyone heard the front door slam shut with great force.

   Grams turned her gaze to Landon. Her mouth was open with shock from Devon’s behavior. She had never seen him so angry, it worried her. “What happened?”

   “Landon, is Dev alright? Should we go to find him?” Sarah asked.

   Grams took Sarah’s hand. Sarah held Grams hand tight. Both the women were waiting for Landon to say something, anything to fill them in on what had just happened.

   “He is a fool! That man is pig headed and stubborn. He is his own worst enemy. Damn it!” Landon was frustrated and angry.

   Landon please explain to us what has happened between you two.” Sarah said her voice growing with worry.

   It is not what has happened between Devon and me. It is what has been taking place between Devon and you, Sarah.” Landon came out from behind the bar and walked towards her.

   Grams said to her, “We saw you and Devon in the study as he was kissing you.”

   “He did not kiss me,” Sarah said.

   Grams squeezed her hand. “You do not need to defend him Sarah. He knows what he is doing to you is wrong.”

   Landon sat down next to her. “Sarah, he is denying to himself what he clearly feels for you. Devon does not intend to ask for your hand in marriage.” Landon tried to tell her the truth as gently as he could.

   Sarah gazed down at her lap. She was fidgeting with a ribbon on her dress. Sarah could feel her bottom lip begin to quiver. “He did not kiss me. I stopped him. Well he had asked me to walk away from him and I did, but then he pulled me to him and asked me not to go. He stopped himself from kissing me” Sarah felt the sting of tears in her eyes. “I know he does not care for me the way I care for him. I wanted him to kiss me anyway.”

   “Oh Sarah, love is difficult at times,” Grams said to her.

   “Why is it Sarah you think he struggles with himself when he is around you?” Landon asked her.

   Sarah began to blush as she said, “He has not been with a woman since his return.” She whispered it as if she were telling a deep dark secret to someone.

   Landon and Grams looked at one another with amusement.

   Grams said to her, “Sarah he loves you. That is why he cannot think clearly around you. If Devon wanted to he could have been with a woman since his return, but it is you he wants, that is why he has not. Oh sweat child do you not see it?”

   Landon smiled at her and said, “She is telling you the truth Sarah.”

   “Did he tell you as much,” Sarah asked him.

   “No but I know Devon very well and I believe that he is in love with you.” Landon answered her.

   “He has not confided in either one of you as to his feeling for me. I will believe it to be true if Devon tells me from his own lips.” Sarah could taste the salt on her lips from her tears. “Will you please excuse me? She stood and left to go to bedchamber.

   Grams began to tear up herself. Landon handed her a handkerchief. As grams wiped her tears away she said, “What are we to do Landon?”

   Devon pushed Rear to run faster than he was. He wanted to hurt someone or punch something. He wanted to never go back. That was what he really wanted. Landon had no right to pry into my dealings with Sarah. What does Landon know any ways. Why does everyone insist on telling me what I feel? I know what my own feelings are and they do not include marriage or falling in love.

   He rode for hours passing two towns on the way. Devon finally stopped at a small town miles away from home. He took a room above a tavern and booked it for only the night.

   Devon took a seat in a corner set back from the small crowd of men in the pub. A young barmaid came up and asked him what he would like. She smiled flirtatiously at him. Devon ordered a bottle of scotch, ignoring her advances towards him. He was not in the mood for company.

   He began to think about how he saw Sarah’s face every time he had tried to kiss MaryAnn. He told himself it was his concern over Sarah’s situation that had cause it. He just need to do what Benjamin had asked him to get her out of his head and out of his home.

   Who did Landon think was to judge him? He does not have to stay under the same roof with Sarah tempting him. Landon has no clue how torturous it can be with her around all the time. Landon would not be able to resist her smile or the way her head tilts to the side, when she is thinking hard about something. He has seen the way she bits in her bottom lip and looks up gazing at you with her big hazel green eyes, so he should understand.

   Devon threw back his second shot, feeling it burn as it slid down his throat. He ran through his mind what Landon had said to him. They had never had words before in that manner. Landon had always been his closest friend and honestly more like a brother. It hurt him to know Landon saw him as a rake. The very thing Devon despised. How could he have let things get so out of hand with Sarah? Landon was right. He is not the man he once knew. Devon didn’t even know who he was any longer.

  

   Back at the estate. Sarah laid on her bed crying. She wanted so much to believe what Grams and Landon believed to be true. If it were true then Devon would have told me himself.

   Sarah began to cry harder into her pillow. She had been holding these feelings inside for so long and know that she was allowing them to the surface, they would not stop hurting her. She felt as though someone had died. How could she morn for something that was never truly real. It was merely her own hopes for his love that she longed for.

   She hugged the pillow tighter against her chest and face. Sarah wanted her father. She wanted him to draw her up into his arms and tell her everything will be all right. She wanted to hear his voice again, just one more time. To have another chance to hug him and smell his scent of books and tobacco pipe that had always lingered on him.

   Richards stood outside Sarah’s door. He could hear her deep gasping cries. Richards raised his hand to the door then he stopped dropping his hand back down to his side.

   Grams came up the stairs and saw Richards standing outside Sarah’s door. “Richards,” she whispered.

   He turned to her and said, “What is going on tonight in this bloody house? Why is she crying?”

   Grams explained the story with a few short cuts to get to the point and brought him up to the current moment.

   “I am going in there.” He lifted his hand to knock on Sarah’s door.

   Grams grabbed his arm and said, “She wants to be alone. The poor girl is a mess.”

   “That is why we must check on her Darleen.” Richards raised his voice.

   The two of them froze as they heard Sarah’s cries grow louder.

   Richards turned to Grams and said, “I stood outside your door in the same manner, do you not recall. You needed someone then as Sarah does now. What if I had left you alone and walked away, honoring your privacy Darleen?”

   Grams studied his face for a moment then said, “Knock on the door Richards.”

   Two men sat with Devon at his table in the corner. He does not know why or how they had come to sit with him but they were. Devon had ordered a good meal for the table and shared his bottle of scotch with them.

   The two men seemed to Devon to be an odd pair to be friends, seeing that they were complete opposites. The calm easygoing man was John O’Brien. The other man Bob was very loud and seemed angry, but also a man of very little words.

   “So what brings you here to drink alone?” John asked Devon.

   “It is a woman. It is always damn women!” Bob answered for Devon.

   Devon chuckled. “Well yes it is a woman but not in the sense you think it is”

   “Women don’t make no sense. They just make problems is all they do,” Bob said.

   Devon put his hand up to his chin and studied the angry man.

   “Ah.” John said as he waved his hand at Bob. “Pay him no attention lad. He is still angry for his wife up and leaven him.”

   “I am sorry to hear that.” Devon said.

   “You think he’d be over it by now, she left twenty years ago.” John said and started to chuckle.

   “Yours left you too.” Bob said to John.

   “Bob you damn well she did not.” John turned to Devon and said, “Me wife died a few months after given birth to me daughter. She caught a fever and died. It was a long time ago.”

   “You did not remarry?” Devon asked him.

   John smiled and shook his head no. “I wanted to but could not bring me self to. I loved her a wee bit too much and I looked to no other woman the way me did her. Oh, she was a beautiful woman. My daughter looks just like her.”

   “What do you do for work John?” Devon asked him as he saw the spotted burns on his hands.

   “I am a black smith and handyman I guessen you’d call it. My daughter Brook and I get by. She works at a library a few towns over in Clairfield.”

   “I know that library. I live not far from town. Sarah Mcmay is a friend of mine who works there as well,” Devon said.

   “Ah I know Sarah. She is such a sweet little lady. She always sends Brook home with sweets for me. It is sad about her situation.” John shook his head at the thought of Sarah. His gaze then rose to Devon. John sat up in his chair and said, “You are not friends with that Collins fella are ya?”

   “No I was Benjamin Mcmay’s business partner and friend. Sarah is staying with my family at Price estates. What do you know of this man Collins?”

   “Well I tell ya this, if he had done to me Brook what the little bastard had done to Sarah, I would have tied him up to the back of a horse and sent him running threw a garden of rocks I tell ya. A man has no business putting him hands were they aren’t wanted. After Brook had told me what had been done to Sarah, I told her Sarah should stay with us if she saw fit to. Brook was going to tell her the next day but she hasn’t seen or heard from Sarah since. She is worried of it too.

   “Please tell Brook she is safe with my family and she may visit any time she would like to,” Devon said.

   “Thank ya very much, I will.”

   The barmaid brought over their food. Devon went to go eat and John grabbed his hand.

   “Lad, when ya eat with me, ya gives thanks first.”

   Devon raised his brows at the little Irish man and said, “My apologizes John.”

Romantica Short Story~ post 3

One Night Of Passion

Chapter 3

Kate raised both fists in the air ready to strike at what she could hit on him. Gary grabbed her by both wrists and held them tight.

        "You are a foolish woman Kate. He is not coming back for you," Gary said.

        "Let go of me Gary," Kate snapped at him.

        "You will marry Beckum and you will be agreeable on the matter," he said.

        "Release me now Gary or I'll scream," Kate said.

        Gary tightened his grip on Kate. "He never loved you Kate and you were stupid for giving yourself to him. Everyone knows you are ruined. Who else will take a used woman like you? No one that's who. We are lucky Beckum has waited this long for you."

        Kate let out a loud scream of frustration that filled the room. "He did love me! And you are right; he is not coming back for me because he is dead!" With all Kate's might she pushed out of her brother's grasp. "It does not change anything Gary. I hate Beckum." Not waiting for his response, Kate turned and went up to the third floor to her bed chamber. By the time she made it to the door she was crying.

        She threw her body to the bed face first and sobbed until she fell asleep. Kate dreamt of him on the ship. Men were shouting and jumping over board. It was night with no moon to give any light. It scared her. She awoke screaming for him just before dawn broke.

        Later that morning Kate hid away from her brother and the rest of the house in her drawing room in the back. She gazed out the window over the garden. With fall rushing in faster than normal the garden was wilting more every day.

        She could not get her mind away from her dream last night. The thought of him drowning or worse at sea was killing her. The memory of the last time she saw him was all she had now. The passionate way he had kissed her caused Kate's body to shiver. When she closed her eyes she was able to still feel his hands on her body. The way he held her tight kissing her neck as his finger slid inside her. The words that he whispered to her as he did it. She remembered how needy it had caused her to get, asking him for more, more of him. "Why did you have to leave me?" she mumbled.

        The door burst open and Kate's cousin Susana stood in the doorway with her hands over her chest. Kate immediately spun around from the commotion her cousin caused.

        "My dear dear Kate. I heard of the dreadful news." Susana walked with a brisk step to her side at the window seat. "Do you know he was to be the earl of White Wood? Could you imagine him an earl? Such a pity that he is gone."

        Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm not up for company Sues. And yes, not even yours." She let her head rest against the chilled pane glass of the window.

        Susana looked her up and down. "You look simple horrid Kate. I insist we get out for a stroll in the park." Susana stood. "Come on Kate I insist."

        Kate did not move. "I need to be alone right now Sues. Please leave me be I beg you."

        Susana grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet. She gave her a closer inspection and winced at her appearance. Placing her bonnet on Kate's head she stated, "This will have to do. As for your puffy eyes," Susana wrinkled her nose at Kate, "Just squint if you see anyone we know."

        "Sues you know the entire ton," Kate said.

        "Yes, well, we can walk on the east side where not a lot of people go. Alright then let us put on your coat." Susana snapped her finger at the maid outside the door. The young girl rushed in and handed it to her and then bowed quickly. Susana obviously frightened her and just waved her away.

        Kate took in a deep breath of the fresh air. It did feel good to get outside and stand in the cool autumn breeze.

        Once in the park Susana did not waste any time with small talk. It just wasn't her style.

        "You are going to give Beckum real consideration aren't you Kate?"

        "I have no intentions on spending the rest of my life with a man I do not love nor can stand to be in the same room with Sues," Kate said without looking at her turning her attention to what was left of the summer flowers that lined the pathway.

        "Lots of people marry with no love at first. Besides he is not that bad Kate. I've spoken with him on occasion and he-"

        Kate stopped and looked at her. "For God's sake Sues, the man knocked me down yesterday, insulted me as I sat at his feet, and then proceeded to step over me as if I was no more than horse droppings!"

        Susana said, "Yes well, I believe he must not have recognized you otherwise he would have assisted you in getting up, but that is besides my point."

        "That is exactly the point Susana. He is an arrogant pig who speaks of nothing but himself," Kate said.

        Susana let out a long dramatic sigh. "I believe it to be in your best interest to think about it Kate."

        "You mean my brother's interest Sues," Kate replied sharply.

        "Yes and you know why Kate? Because what effects him also effects you and your future. If he is penniless then so are you." Susana sighed again.

        After a moment Kate asked her, "How much was he paid for me?"

        "I do not see how that matters Kate," Susana said.

        "It does to me Sues. What is my happiness worth to him?"

        Susana stopped and sat down on a park bench. "Fifty thousand pounds."

        "What!" Kate shouted.

        Susana took her arm and pulled her down on the bench next to her. "There is no need to make a scene Kate." She glanced around her quickly.

        "Has Beckum asked for it back?" Kate asked.

        Susana fiddled with her gloves make certain the fingers were just right. "Yes and Gary no longer has all of it. He paid off a few debits I believe and the rest I am not sure of."

        Kate sat back and said, "I know where it went and so do you Sues. His Madam Sasha received a big portion of it I bet."

        "Kate you do not know that to be true and do not start accusing blindly. Our family's name has been dragged through the mud enough the last couple years."

        Kate knew she was referring to the night her brother and half the ton caught her naked in the conservatory. Kate blushed slightly.

        Susana gazed at her briefly. "It was obviously worth it from the way you are turning pink Kate." She turned to her and said with a straight face. "Now that you know he is not coming back for you I think you owe it to us, your family, to consider Beckum, otherwise we will lose everything Kate."

        Kate pinched her eyebrows together. "Your country estate too Sues?"

        "Yes almost everything Kate. Please promise me you will think about it," Susana said.

        Kate looked away and then shook her head yes.

        Susana hugged her. "I will inform your brother." She patted Kate's leg and said with a cheerful tone, "I am in the mood for some sweets."

        Kate felt sick like she had just been kicked in the stomach by a donkey. She knew Gary had put Susana up to this, although, she is just as snobby as Gary so she was sure it took Susana little persuading to do so.

        "I would much rather walk a bit longer if you do not mind Sues," Kate said.

        "Well I cannot very well leave you alone out here," Susana replied with a wave of her hand through the air.

        Kate started to walk towards the shops on the other side of the park. Susana caught up to her. "Will you please slow down Kate? Ladies are not suppose to walk this fast," Susana stated.

        "Well Sues according to my brother no one views me as a lady anymore as of two years ago," Kate said.

        "I'm sure he was merely upset when he said it," Susana replied growing short of breath.

        "Yes and I could give two pigs and a chicken what all of the ton thinks of me," Kate said. Her anger was beginning to show now.

        "Will you please? Slow down Kate," Susana said. "Stop...please!"

        Kate halted and Susana slammed into her side. Susana took in a long deep breath. "Now then." She said in a stern mothering tone. She continued as she brushed down the fabric of her attire. "If you insist on carrying on this way you may walk by yourself Kate. I will not be seen galloping through the park like a pony. I am a lady and I would like very much to be viewed as such." With that being said, Susana walked past Kate with her nose held high.

        Kate rolled her eyes at her cousin's snobbery and followed slowly behind her. Susana was exactly like Gary and it mad Kate crazy. She was seven years younger than both of them and they always made it a point to remind her of that fact often. Both Gary and Susana were welcomed babies and Kate was an accident that had caused her Mother's death at birth. The doctor had said she was too old to bare children at forty six. Another thing Gary also held over Kate's head.

        Susana greeted some friends outside the bakery and Kate took a seat on a bench under a tree within eye sight of Susana. She was far enough away to afford herself peace and quiet and close enough to appease Susana.

        A gust of wind blew some of Kate's hair across her cheek. She picked up her bonnet sitting on the bench next to her.  Kate was startled as she caught sight of the man's hand on the back of the bench next to her shoulder.

        "You are far more stunning without your bonnet Katie." The man's voice was deep and soft and slow. She knew that voice well. She realized she was holding her breath. Kate slowly stood up.

To Be Continued

From the beginning post 1 and post 2